I wet my pants—for real. I was six, and I had a dream that I swore was genuine. My maternal grandmother entered my bedroom and levitated off the ground, glowing with a blue-white light. When she reached for me, she had no eyes in her sockets. I sat up in bed, sweating with fright. My grandmother, whom we called Nea, was living only a mile away from us, but the dream felt real. I can still see it— fifty-some years later. Fear can leave a deep impression.

Fear is a genuine emotion that all humans across the earth have experienced. As adults, we learn that not all of the things we can imagine being afraid of are actually based on reality. There are plenty of things in life to be concerned with, but not many to fear.

When we see people around us held captive by fear, we want to come beside them and help them as much as possible— without question. In those situations, we try to de-escalate the unknown by living in the moment: Breathe. Pray. Walk. Eat. You get the idea.

We need to respect many things: human life, electricity, illness, parents, and scary six-year-old dreams, to name but a few.

The demarcation line between healthy and unhealthy human relationships is crossed whenever fear is used to manipulate. Read that sentence again.

There are people on this planet who benefit from using fear to control. This manipulation is never helpful for building a life based on reality. It is as if they want you to constantly live inside a dream (or nightmare) that is disassociated from everything else. If you cannot choose to live outside of their axis of fear and remain in their circle of relationships, something is wrong.

Living inside reality is necessary for success in life.

Be wary of those who want to keep you afraid. Control what you can (your A.O.C.) and leave the rest in the hands of a loving God. Jesus often spoke about fear, using the term “fear not”to encourage us that when we follow him, he has our best interest in mind, even when we live in a broken world filled with crazy dreams.

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